Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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