dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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