I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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