dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
