i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize