I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize