i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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