I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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