White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My life is pants optional.
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