I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
