Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize