can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
