I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
