Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
