Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
