Sponge bath it is.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
