i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
