I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
