I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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