Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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