I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
