bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
God I need to hump something, right now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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