You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
