guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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