Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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