margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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