you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
