dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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