youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
