Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
foreskin is a definite game changer
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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