she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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