So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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