All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
