He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just puked most of my soul out..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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