the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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