Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
