I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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