You really coming over, don't trick.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
