I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
