I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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