I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
