Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
