Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are the jesus of drinking
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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