We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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