The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
