READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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