I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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