I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
