just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize