God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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