I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize