is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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