Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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