rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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