I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize