Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
