Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
