I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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