She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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