You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sext me about skeletons
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
