I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
