When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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