she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
