She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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