There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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