Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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