Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We got so high we made milksteak
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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