I cockslap morals
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
