He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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