Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
