Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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