Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
