I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
