dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
